Feelings, female, Life, Society

Rear View Mirror

I was looking straight ahead, as usual, driving my car.

I very rarely look at the car behind me in my rear view mirror.

For some reason, this time I did.

She was alone in her car with sunglasses on.  I tried not to stare because somehow, I could tell she was upset.

I must have had my empathic radar on again because she looked normal for ten seconds.

I kept glancing back though.

Ok, now she was crying very hard.

I could tell by the shape of her lips as she was trying to control herself and wiping under her eyes beneath the sunglasses.

So many questions and pictures went through my mind.

Did she just get a call from the hospital that her son had gotten into a car accident?

Did one of her parents just die?

Then she started hitting the passenger seat and crying while we sat at the red light.

Being the kind of person I am, I wished I could let her know I wanted to reach out to her somehow.

When she got angry and hit the seat, that caused me to think her husband either asked for a divorce, she caught him with another woman, or her boyfriend text broke up with her.

Then the light turned green.

I wondered all of that, seeing something I’ve never seen before all in a space of forty five seconds.

I hope she’s ok but I’ll  never know.

blurred lines, Dating, family, Feelings, Humans, Relationships, Self Image, Social Media, Society

Our Veneer

The veneer on a piece of furniture can appear many ways.  It can be layers of paint, different stains, all of it peeling off maybe.  There can even be gashes and dent to the wood underneath.

What the wood is underneath is the truth and it’s rarely seen.  It’s the heart of the matter.  It’s how the piece of furniture looked at it’s founding; it’s construction done by the carpenters hand.  I love watching that progress and how the wood smells.

When I look at any piece of furniture that has been stained or painted, I always wonder what the grain of the wood looks like underneath and what type of wood it is.  Then I wonder who built it and in what year and for whom they may have built it.

All of our social media; facebook, twitter, instagram, on and on, are veneer of humans.  We are all projecting a public image that we want others to think is true of us.  It’s the image that we are comfortable with others seeing.  It is the truth regarding how we express ourselves but it’s partial.  It serves to protect our deepest emotions and events of our lives from being too visible, too vulnerable.  Maybe we are aligning with a group that “fixes” all that was wrong with our mother or father instead of aligning with our true selves in group settings.

I actually accept that about others.  The reason being…underneath we are all innocent children that have had to learn to cope in certain family dynamics and fundamental societal expectations where most of the time, no one asked us what we wanted or how we felt.  They just told us what we should do.  Knowing and obeying those parameters helped us survive, kept us alive even.  So we view that compromise as fundamentally good.  But it is surviving, not thriving.  That’s how the veneer starts.  Most of the veneer comes from religion, state schools, and our family.

It’s something to keep in mind when you communicate on social media.  There is no way you’re getting an authentic picture of a person on any of those sites.  We all cling to religions and political parties that we feel emotionally comfortable with culturally.  That doesn’t mean that a person who is opposite of you doesn’t have a good heart or a stable mind.  It’s amazing how convinced we can be of how right we are when we surround ourselves with people who agree with us.

It’s not about a group being right or wrong.  It’s about caring to know who people really are underneath, listening, and being authentic ourselves.  We’re called to love-not to judge…anyone…ever…for any reason.

foggy-autumn