It’s time for this conversation. The word emasculate, as we all know, means to deprive a man of his male role or identity. Strong, justice oriented women who have self-esteem and know their power are ridiculed for doing this to men, no matter what the men have done to women. They can do whatever they want to women and she’s supposed to take it? Sounds like a Christian, Republican, Trump voter. Most men, I don’t believe, are like this but many are.
What would be the word for depriving a woman of her female role or identity? Below, the word “defeminate” is suggested but I don’t believe it’s caught on. It doesn’t really roll off the tongue, no sexual suggestion intended. This word actually sounds similar to defemate.
Dr. Mary Stopes, described here in Margaret Jackson’s The Real Facts of Life: Feminism and the Politics of Sexuality, c1850-1940:
What about “efeminate”? This word is more of a direct correlation with the word “emasculate”.
Well, we can banter about “defeminate” or “efeminate” or take a poll. The real work will be to define what it means to deprive a woman of her female role? My visceral response to this, which I feel is realistic, is that women don’t have “a role”. Women have advanced so far, because of our choices and willingness to work for it, that it is common knowledge that we can be whatever we want to be and do whatever we want to do, or not do! Every woman’s personality is different as well, so how she expresses her femininity is unique.
There is very little social pressure on women anymore to be married or to be mothers. That said, I see that the instinct is still there in our bodies which can cause a lot of conflict with our minds. It is entirely socially acceptable for a woman to have her own property, money, job and no family. Maybe she just has a job and friends and has casual sexual relations with men and women! No one cares anymore. It’s just important to honor yourself and be healthy and happy.
Feminism and women’s liberation has brought us to this point. If a woman has her life organized and has money, she can hire a handy male or female to do whatever work she needs done around her house; yard work, snow blowing, construction, painting, you name it. If she’s intelligent, why would she waste her time doing work that she can pay someone else to do who is good at it! She has her own work to do in her quiet, clean house that does not have a man stomping around, causing a ruckus, watching sports, and being noisy. She is no one’s territory. She belongs to herself and her spiritual life.
The way I see it is, men with their polygamous proclivities, innately wired into their brains to sleep with as many women as they can and get an ego brush from making as many women scream as they can, have whored themselves for millenia now. They don’t seem to be interested in Love or Bonding which has secured life for women and children for millenia. Love and Bonding are our bedrock. Men can’t feel it nor do they operate that way. Sure, the man may feign loyalty, get married, put a ring on his finger and be a father, but most women believe that it is in his nature to fuck as many women or men as he can before he dies. It’s not his mandate to love as many women as he can before he dies or love one woman as much as he can before he dies. There are enlightened men in the minority, but it’s not the norm. This is despite his religious or spiritual beliefs. Nature always trumps belief folks. If ya gotta go, ya gotta go. Sex is no different for men.
It is different for women. The sexes are not equal yet. Because women understand heart and relationship, children and home, business and money, assertiveness and organization, and leadership, we are the dominant species on the planet. Love trumps hate and usage. Love trumps whoring your body for shallow, non-bonded sex. Love trumps patriarchal objectification of women. Love and bonding trumps superficial sex just for an orgasm. Friendship is the highest bond there is. Spirituality with Love, during sex, trumps giving it away with no bonding. When most men find out that a woman loves herself this much, and they can’t measure up, they’re out the door for the next porn flick or booty call because they’re not willing to be a good student.
That may be the end of him then. All women, even women who have a bitch veneer, LOVE. If a user male somehow manipulates that love from us, there will be righteous indignation completely justified. Our bodies and our souls embody Love. This is a huge planetary reality that weaves throughout nature. Women’s bodies are synced with the Earth, Moon, and stars. We can be no other way. If man wants to learn the way of all flesh on Earth, he will listen to and follow the woman and attempt to raise himself up to be her equal. Women have raised their minds up, why can’t men raise their bodies up? In return, she will love him with loyalty and adoration. That’s the best thing he’ll ever be able to achieve in this life. I know it’s just an ideal. It’s not really happening.
The day men help us instead of hinder us caused by making more mess and noise on the planet is the day there is more peace on earth. But they don’t like peace. They like to blow stuff up.