Sound bites after Dark

The late Carrie Fisher penned Postcards from the Edge as she wrestled with her intergalactic fame, substance abuse and bipolar life. While Ubering, some of my riders could likely be companions on C…

Source: Sound bites after Dark

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Sexual Harassment at Uber, but it’s Everywhere!

Healer

https://www.susanjfowler.com/blog/2017/2/19/reflecting-on-one-very-strange-year-at-uber

Have you read Susan Fowler’s blog post?

Oh my.  It reminded me of what happened to me at the a parish in the Grand Rapids Diocese, three weeks after graduating from college.  The straight priest was hitting on me and had bothered other women.  I wrote a six page report to the Bishop before I quit, refused to talk to them at a meeting and quit with a nice severance being ever so happy to get out of there.  They just moved him to another parish where he proceeded to do the same thing.  He can’t work with women and I can’t bring myself to work for the Church again-any Church, because it happens in all denominations.  It’s my issue to let go of, I know.  We’ll see.

It reminded me of what’s happened to me in almost every chiropractors office I’ve worked in in this area.  Those stories…

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Posted in female, Feminism, men, misogyny, Patriarchy, Politics, sexism, sexual harassment, Society, Uber, Women, Workplace | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Patriarchy Is Everywhere

https://www.susanjfowler.com/blog/2017/2/19/reflecting-on-one-very-strange-year-at-uber

Have you read Susan Fowler’s blog post?

Oh my.  It reminded me of what happened to me at the a parish in the Grand Rapids Diocese, three weeks after graduating from college.  The straight priest was hitting on me and had bothered other women.  I wrote a six page report to the Bishop before I quit, refused to talk to them at a meeting and quit with a nice severance being ever so happy to get out of there.  They just moved him to another parish where he proceeded to do the same thing.  He can’t work with women and I can’t bring myself to work for the Church again-any Church, because it happens in all denominations.  It’s my issue to let go of, I know.  We’ll see.

It was also similar to  what has happened to me in almost every chiropractors office I’ve worked in in this area; West Michigan.  Those stories are a little worse than the one above and involve bars and hook ups in a basement.  Not kidding.

Let me interject here that I have a Bachelors Degree in Music and Liturgy and am a bang up skilled music leader.  In addition I have top notch skill in Naprapathic Holistic manual medicine that tends to upstage what a Chiropractor can do for you.  My experience and reputation are absolutely above board and my boundaries are fierce in the office.  There are some good D.C.’s out there, but not the ones I’ve worked for.  That’s my short resume.  I refuse to work with men in either of these areas anymore.

I know many are sick of hearing it and I’m sick of talking about it, but patriarchal, misogynist, sexist behavior in the public workplace is still alive and kicking.  So is cultural bias.  They tend to have back up at the top too.

Huffington Post has this article about the actions of CEO Travis Kalanick after he read Fowlers blog.  He says he was unaware of the behavior endemic in his company.  That doesn’t surprise me.  People have to speak up or he won’t know about it.  He begged off of Trumps Business Board too.  Congratulations on that move Mr. Kalanick.  Seriously.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/uber-sexual-harassment_us_58aa37b6e4b045cd34c2e3e6

Now take this to the level of the election being stolen from Hillary Clinton by the misogynist FBI and God knows who else, and we are talking entrenched patriarchy in all of our institutions.

There is so much more to this issue, but it’s this kind of thing that every woman has been through that fueled the massive women’s march all over the world.  I disagree with some of the way women deal with this kind of thing but nevertheless, serious friggin’ misogyny exists.  I remember when my son’s Grandmother told me about being accosted at her job at the post office when she was a young woman.  How incredible, when she was very old, that she trusted me enough to tell me that.  She wanted someone to know before she died, as a type of confession for the sake of justice.  That’s how it felt and  I’m grateful.

In the end, it not only hurts women, it hurts men too.  I’m all over that issue; misandry; the hatred of men.  But both genders need to speak up and end the cycle of abuse that trickles down from the top.

There is now more coming to light.  Here is the lastest today:

http://money.cnn.com/2017/02/20/technology/uber-sexism-allegations/index.html

 

femalewarrior

 

Posted in Christianity, church, female, Feminism, Grand Rapids, Hillary, Justice, men, misandry, misogyny, Patriarchy, Politics, Resistance, sexual harassment, Trump, Uber, Women, Workplace | 1 Comment

Peace

This is a truly beautiful song by Michael McDonald.  There is peace to be found from addiction and suffering in the Christ energy.

Have a peaceful and healing Sunday!

 

Posted in Addiction, Beliefs, Christianity, christians, church, faith, Feelings, Healing, Jesus, Love, Music, Peace, Self-care, Spirituality | Leave a comment

Feel Free to Bother Me

beautiful-woman-in-garden

I went out tonight to hear jazz.

I was perfectly happy sitting alone with my sushi and drink.

Then I feel these tentacles pulling on me and then staring, wanting my attention, wanting to talk, wanting to come over. He was needy and lonely.  I wasn’t. Why was he?  How many times have I seen men like that.

He’d already struck up a conversation with me from two chairs down which was ambitious.

He was smart and interesting fortunately and now we’re friends…I guess. Who knows? We know each other’s name.

I said, “Come on over and we can chat,” and he said, “I’d like that.”

But I still got that lusty, “You’re cute” vibe from him after a bit and left to chat with my other friend who I knew wouldn’t throw that energy at me.

I don’t know if some men want to use me to forget themselves, forget their wife who died, or to remember themselves.  Maybe it’s all of those.

But I still feel used when all I wanted to do was hear music so I could just relax and take care of myself.

I have to take care of myself. No man is taking care of me and I m not asking because I know the answer. It’s all different in middle age.  A man owes me nothing now because I’m not going to have any more children.  I pay my mortgage and all of my bills on my own, no help from anyone at all, including the government.

Why does he feel male privilege to bother me?

They either want attention, sex, food, or talking, even from a stranger!
The last thing he wants to do is to take care of himself the way I do.

Maybe that’s just my generation.

And yet, the men supposedly have more of everything for themselves, most of the money, most of the property, most of everything.  I’m not so sure about that.

But you still need more from a woman?

Why?

Why can I feel myself MORE without a man next to me?  That’s curious. Well, except for the one I want.

If you learn how to take care of yourself and share and I’ll give you the time of day.

Because I, and many women like me have nothing more to give you guys that you can’t give to yourselves.

Posted in Energy, Healing, Justice, men, Middle Age, Self Image, Self-care, Women | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Ready To Rumble For Bonding

 

femalewarrior

 

Fight.  I’m ready to rumble for bonding.

So…no phone or text and no e-mail.

E-mail?  How am I going to get my edits?…and I went through editing withdrawal.

Do you know what that’s like as a writer?  I thought my head would explode.

I’m going over there…To the HOUSE.

He says, “I can’t believe you came over here.”

I was cut off!  I had no communication choice to get my work done.

He was happy to see me!  Came close to me, right into my personal space.

He cleared a chair off for me quickly, searched and found out it was his cut off to usurp my threatened cut off when the edits were done, but not before.  He goofed up.  No apology.

He sent it, I didn’t receive it.

I started this with my boundaries and he was getting his back.

Guess what I’m going to do next?

I’m going to seriously date someone else I like.

I…am…NOT…doing hook-ups and booty calls

For the last half of my life as an adult!

I have the energy for this.

Ready to rumble for bonding.

Mind you, the energy of my body will be as receptive as a duckling

But my mind will be a steel trap.

 

 

 

 

Posted in blog, bloggers, Blogging, Dating, Love, Mating, men, Nature, Prose, Relationships, Women | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

It’s Better to Have Loved

You know the saying,

“It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”-Alfred Lord Tennyson

I have a new sense about it. If I love, anyone, for any length of time for any reason, my heart may break open but that is never a loss. I don’t feel that I’ve lost anything by loving but have gained. My soul is awakened by connection, care, and bonding.

What I lose is what I did not need; belief that I control that which I cannot; others and their feelings in addition to my feelings.  I lose the belief that I can control their movement, coming and going.  I lose ego, loneliness, radical independence, no connection, cynicism, even resentment for humans just because we can be weak!

All there is in the end is love. People say that all the time but I really feel I come from love and will eventually return to love. And love is what binds me together with all life forms.

So maybe my perception is that I’ve lost a lot in my life.  That has indeed been my perception. But if I’ve loved and learned in the midst of that I haven’t lost anything at all; I’ve gained the gift of my soul being broken open.

As a writer and an artist, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.  Now I have the rest of my life to tell stories and express how tragically beautiful that brokeness can be and how it’s the only path to wholeness.

No one gets to skate past being broken.  It’s pretty much what happens to everyone on this planet. We’re equal in that.

Posted in christians, Humans, Jesus, Love, marriage, Mating, Relationships, Valentines Day, Writers, writing | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment